Why I never – the voice said

editor
8 years ago

By Sharen McArthur, editor

Why I never – the voice said. Her voice was smooth, mellifluous. I had no clue who had said it.

Did you really just say that?

Don’t you just love cell phones? Two thumbs or one index finger will get you where you want to go in your texting world. Fortunately for you, you don’t have to catch a ride, wait on a bus, fight your way through an airline terminal or make hotel reservations. Just type and off you go! Sun and fun loom ahead as your text flies to your recipient in record time!

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Your text flies through text never-never land, with just a few taps of your thumb! You’ve reached out and touched someone, just like the old Bell System commercial says! Hey, take a moment and step back in time:

Love to Hate

But back to the cell phone. I have a love/hate relationship with my cell phone. First, the love part. Being able to look up answers to life’s most pressing questions at any time and anywhere is exciting! I know so much now! Ask me anything! In fact, in case you want to know how to text in French, here’s the link: texting in French

Here’s the hate part. I. cannot. type. on. the. keyboard. without. making. one. million. errors. Really. But, in case you have the same problem, here’s another wonderful thing I learned by roaming the web on my cell phone: five ways to text faster The article didn’t help me, but maybe it will help you!

Now let’s get to the part about the voice from nowhere:

The other day I was trying to write a text. I typed and made an error. I typed and made another error. I typed and made several more errors. I typed – and you guessed it – made more errors. Autocorrect even made errors based on my errors. My blood pressure shot up. Then out it came: St, Dn and C**p.

I am not proud of myself. I have said this numerous times when I failed miserably at typing on the keyboard. This time, however, someone was listening, someone I had no idea was listening.

As soon as my fateful words slipped out, a female voice, indignant, perhaps shocked, said: “Why I never.”

I froze. I looked around the room. Saw no one. Who was this woman? Who had spoken? I stood there, looking at my cell phone. Then I realized who had talked to me.

If you own an Apple mobile phone, you know who this is:

IT IS SIRI. BUT I HADN’T ASKED HER FOR HELP!

When did she become Big Mother? You know, Big Mother, “the concept of pervasive parenting, in which parents use modern geolocation, wireless and video technologies to constantly track the activities of a child.” But I am an adult! And she’s not my mother! My mother would wash my mouth out with soap if she heard me say those words! Thankfully, she didn’t hear them!

My true story comes to an end. I don’t know the purpose of Siri reaching out. Perhaps her “reaching out and touching me” was just a random act in a universe none of us understands. Wait, I know! I should type another text message – in French – and see what happens:

Why I never – the voice said

By Sharen McArthur, editor

Love to Hate

If you own an Apple mobile phone, you know who this is:

IT IS SIRI. BUT I HADN’T ASKED HER FOR HELP!

French Meaning English

C pa 5pa C’est pas sympa That’s not nice

Still waiting…